telling the true story for the holidays
When I think about the old days, I often remember those "wonderful" and "fun" times...and I often edit out the truth. I don't just do this with my drinking. I do it with my narrative around family, friends, work, school, emotional well-being, relationships, heartbreaks, treatment of others, treatment of self, and, and, and ... you get the idea. I can forget to tell the truth, or purposely tell an alternative story (AKA lie) so that I can feel safe.
One gift of recovery is that we get to tell the true story, the whole story, the wonderful, the fun, AND the hard, painful, ugly story. During the holidays, memories surface. Romantic notions of times past, and dreadful notions of pains. This season, we can choose to embrace it all, rather than resist it. Owning ONLY my part of my story, letting others take or leave their parts, and telling the truth, no matter what. Doing this truth-telling can really screw up relationships if your story doesn't support the one others are trying to tell.
Consider this. Once we began to heal, once we began to see our addictions and our behaviors realistically, we also began to see others more realistically, and we began to remove ourselves from dangerous or toxic situations. We also began to see that our new lives didn't fit with others of whom we once used to fit with so "perfectly".
Today, it is too harmful for me to pretend and stay in the old narrative because it supports my addiction and my old ways of interacting with others. Because this is true, it means I am free to choose differently. We have choices! We have choice in how we spend our days - even the holidays!